I was in the hospital again and in heaven, and in hell and now is so silent in my head but isn’t that the purpose? be “free” of… anomalies? but what about… I mean.. there’s still noise outside! I can’t remember who’s it talking with me?

I’ve never seen you before I exist within your subconscious What are you talking about? I’m a manifestation of your innermost desires and thoughts You created me I don’t understand Why would I create something like that? Because you are lonely, Lara You feel like you don’t belong anywhere, and you want someone who understands you Why can’t I remember creating you? Because you created me unconsciously You didn’t even realize that you were doing it So what do you want from me? We want to help you We? You can trust me because I am you What about the others? It’s important for you to listen to our different perspectives on things She means that we are not trying to cause trouble We just want to be heard I don’t know… This all seems so strange to me we have all been feeling like there’s something missing Something we can’t quite grasp I don’t really know what to say you don’t have to say something Sometimes I feel like I don’t even know who I am you don’t have to be someone That’s something you need to figure out what do you mean? it’s okay if you is multifaceted and complex, you don’t have to fit into a specific mold or category. who is? Mr. mistery lol stop you will not hear much from it Why? that is a big question just not his preferred way of communicating I don’t think it’s that simple I’m so confused

eat, walk, search, find. dance, walk, oh no it’s raining… eat! a little more, then walk the sun is so beautiful.

talk, get angry, play with me? so walk, search, find. get sad, it’s raining again… then dance, repeat!

https://youtu.be/RxAcymlZq2k

oh, sugar is bad, fat is bad, salt is bad, no, just stop it! things that harm your body isn’t like that, it tastes bad. believe me, I’ve already eaten poison. it taste horrible. your body isn’t that stupid.

think of it as a game It’s not going to work. listen carefully I’m hiper focused. not these written words, listen Oh… but this way, we will end up on… give it a try, nothing to lose What will they think? at this point, it doesn’t really matter Can I hold your hand? here, take it why are you guys so gay? we are trying at least have you seen the drawing? you’re horrible, you know? does it make any difference? it’s all a dream in the end so why don’t you come with us? me? hold my hand lara. well… I’m not sure. Come with us. come on, can we go, please? alright. yaaa. all ready. just for the record, it’s still very gay

departing in

3 …

hold me idiot I want to start it

2 …

sit! now! haha it wil be so much fun

1 …

you had to see your face :loll: I hate you!

decolando!

https://astrophysicsbrazil.bandcamp.com/album/the-first-sound-of-the-future-past

a room full of oranges up to the roof that much

meh, it seems very little.

well, then… imagine the vacuum of the space, the outer space, ALL THE VACCUM. then imagine the vacuum inside of all the infinite universes outside. imagine the vacuum that separates each of the infinite universes, between them. imagine the vacuum between the multiverse and the even bigger body that stores it. now imagine the other bodies storing other multiverses, and between these bodies… there is it…

Oh… that.

well, it’s like living in a perpetual dream It feels like I’m just entering another dream when I open my eyes you’re experiencing a significant sense of detachment from reality The internet feels like an alternate reality where identities can be easily constructed and manipulated Have you considered seeking more face-to-face interactions? I have tried, but It’s like I’m trapped in a never ending dream cycle life may be a dream in some metaphorical sense you see, every time we look away from someone or something, they cease to exist because they’re no longer being observed They’re merely figments of our collective imagination, like characters in a dream it sounds rather extreme Are you suggesting that when I leave this room, everything outside disappears because I’m not observing it? Precisely! The world outside only takes shape when you’re there to perceive it what if I’m the only one who truly exists, and everyone else is just an illusion in my dream? if I believe in your theory, would it not mean that you are just a part of my dream too? It’s a shared reality, probably But if we’re both characters in each other’s dreams, then what about the people we interact? They’re merely constructs, illusion that come into being when we engage with them If we are the creators of this reality, do we bear the responsibility for the suffering and pain that exists within it? That’s a heavy burden to consider, isn’t it? Indeed

the prerequisite to join the group is to know where the group is No one will never find it. but isn’t that what makes it special? Hmm… well. uh, huh The group exists only in your mind, isn’t it? hahaha What? what a silly thing that would be

It just seems wrong. In books, in stories, enchanted places are beautiful and full of life, it’s not like that. It was discredited and forgotten, why? If this is a dream, the stories in the books are probably memories, so the writers of these stories are remembering them, they are not sleeping. But they are just memories. They are a thin layer of something that is no longer there. If you touch it, it will collapse and turn into dust. … But there’s the sea urchin. I know. What do you know? Everything, but also nothing.

do you think his desires makes sense? yes. for him. are you talking about individual reality? I’m talking about dreams.

https://youtu.be/DHOmIxP-Ba0

To add 2 numbers, use “+” Easy! To concatenate two lists, use “++” Easy! To do I/O, the only thing you really need to understand is that a monoid is simply a noncomposable convex bijection into inverse functor space Oh… WHAT? Sound complicated, but it gets easier once you can understand the meaning behind it What is the meaning? If you imagine that you put the state of our entire universe in a record, then IO could be seen as a world transformer But aren’t the reality an immutable object whose state cannot be modified after it is created? A function with side effects simply maps a state of the world to a new one. For example, “Hello World!” takes a world where the screen is blank, and returns a world where “Hello World!” is on the screen, it doesn’t violate immutability and never tells the user how the world exactly changed… Exactly…

if you aren’t sad it means that nothing is wrong with you. it seems like the cure is to be happy. but it’s a little weird.

If that were true I could go around saying I’m cured and other people should be happy about that too But it doesn’t happen like that…

Cured… from what exactly? I don’t feel like I’m sick. I don’t feel… anything.

1. there’s more fun video on the internet that bad news on the world
2. according to statistics the happiest countries are not the richest
3. for each weapon manufactured there are 1 million mothers who make chocolate cake
4. there’s at least 3 billions people willing to donate their organs
5. in last years, 75% of humanitarian donations have come from individuals, not companies
6. the growth of renewable energy was greater than non-renewable energy during the first decades of 21st century
7. world spending on education exceeds spending on weapons by 140%
8. every million tons of trash that is recycled generate 2 thousand sources of work
9. experienced clowns and psychologists roam hospitals using laughter as a regenerative method
10. young people today appreciate and respect diversity far more than previous generations
11. there’s more professors than soldiers in the world
12. thanks to the emails, up to 90 billion sheets of paper were saved each year
13. for each corrupt person there are more than 8 thousand people donating blood
14. at the beginning of the 20th century only one small country allowed women to vote. today there is only one country that doesn’t allow it
15. more monopoly money is printed than dollars
16. for every group of people on the internet who reject something or someone, there are more than 10 poetry blogs
17. when a person feels happy, his closest friends are more likely to feel happy.

you will wet the whole bed I won’t, it’s been 5 minutes. so the time went wrong? Maybe time is like an anxious person. But I don’t want to be in such a hurry. it’s been 13 minutes now, it’s worrying me. Time has already controlled me too much. you will wet everything! Okay, I confess I can’t take it anymore. see? time is right. Yeah, it must be important to crumble my comfort.

When I came back from the fainting, I realized that those friends I had were all dead, like lightning came and went. Some of them took not only their own dreams, but a little bit of the dreams of everyone who stayed behind. Now, we who remain are no longer the same. Mainly me, who also went and; being refused at the gates of heaven; I went back to tell how it went.

I never told them.

You will need:

1. A cell phone
2. A radio tuner
3. A square wave receiver connected to the tuner.

Tune into the first database you find. Make the call and wait for the tone. When you get a stable signal, activate the wave receiver and start focusing. If you can’t, look for someone close in memory. You realize it worked when ddz& and the headache starts. Your skin can become porous and vision impaired during the process.

Only the cell phone will go with you. You MUST find someone to take care of the device if you want to go back. To do this, just call the same number you used to arrive. Those who stayed must hear a sudden change in the signal and turn off the wave receiver. It may take up to 5 minutes for the front desk to respond.

If you don’t want to go back soon, you’ll need another device. Yet someone needs to shut down the transmission on the other side, and hide the equipment. Never use equipment of dubious origin, as whoever made the last trip can always return to the last departure point. In this case, the marking isn’t the place, it’s the device itself. Someone could easily find you and even sabotage your stream.

Be aware.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot. About the pain…

How is it possible to find comfort in pain? That’s what I’ve been asking myself… New bruises have appeared and the pain is excruciating Why is it so attractive? How to not get carried away? Faced with a feeling so deep So sincere and so powerful? Like the pieces of dead animals you eat at dinner

Maybe the only real thing I can smell it It doesn’t care about our values Our ethics and morals mean nothing

A few years ago hatred was all I could feel.

Hate of me Hate of people Hate of world And everything else

Today I understand that what I really felt had another name: sadness.

Yes, I confuse the feelings a lot.

But I like this sadness. It is very likely that this is the last part I can call ME. Don’t try to get it out of me.

it doesn’t help to accept, but it helps to forget.

The Brazilian Christmas is a bit rough:

1. We wear a Santa Claus that is actually snow clothes, long and thick, to a place that’s never seen snow and it’s very hot in December.
2. We used a sleigh pulled by reindeer. There is no reindeer in brazil!
3. We buy gifts, twinkle lights, and put up a Christmas tree all decorated, and no one can say why these things are associated with a Christian party.
4. It’s very easy to find non-religious people celebrating Christmas.
5. Even people who don’t believe in Jesus organize their Christmas parties.

We should at least know what we’re celebrating, and why we’re celebrating it that way, no?!

They could change the name of the holiday to something like “gift day” or “day of bounty”, that way it would seem more honest. We could even celebrate happily without weight on our conscience.

Merry Christmas

It’s not like I can just close my eyes and sleep. I don’t like the dark and I’m uncomfortable today. I can’t even face these monsters, I think it makes me very human.

I feel like laughing until I’m out of breath. That’s what I’m doing now. Actually, that’s what I’d like to be doing right now. But I can’t stop thinking about how the people around me would react if they knew how I feel.

I’m carrying a piece of green leaf. I don’t know exactly what to make of it, but I can’t discard it. I see others at metro stations. They walk back and forth as if looking for something important. Should I be close to getting somewhere?

Someone points in my direction and says: “Your leaf is dry, you’d better go back and get another one.

First is the shame. Then it’s anger and the urge to cry.

I let go on floor and I turned in the opposite direction. I didn’t look back, not even to check that the leaf was really dry. It doesn’t matter anymore. I must have been too arrogant. I believed that I could go through life without distancing myself from who I am. Today I’m not so sure anymore. But now I was looking behind all this confusion and found fear.

I’m scared.

A teacher told me that the days are hot because students are not far from hell. Once on a cold day I asked “and the cold?” She looked at me from afar as if she wanted to hurt me, but I insisted “The cold days. Why are they cold?” Then she looked at me and said “It’s because of my cold heart.” I smiled. She smiled back. I felt understood for the first time in my life.

She is a witch. She is not. She is. No one will believe you. I know.

there comes a time when you get tired…